Since I started dressing better, I started noticing the way other people around me dress as well. Particularly in Vancouver, BC. I didn’t always try to dress well and by dressing well, I’m talking about wearing dressier or more formal clothing. To me, when I dress better I feel like a million dollars. I feel confident talking to people, my posture is better, and I truly feel empowered. When you see a dapper-man in the street, they stand out from the crowd and you just feel a sophisticated presence from them. I know there are many men who want to have the look but something stops them from succeeding. So why is that?
I got thinking and I asked some people I know who believe in the benefits of dressing better but still don’t do so. Because of this, I found that men have 3 barriers towards transforming their look.
Reason 1: Lack of intent and vision
“Envision where you want to go, and become the pilot of your life.”
The most successful people envisioned their future to be able to get to where they are now. To be the person you want to be, you need to create that vision. As a dapper-man you need to envision your outfits. What fabrics do you want? What accessories do you want to wear? What is your posture going to be like? How are you going to feel as a new and well dressed man?
Once you’ve developed your vision, you must consciously intend on working towards succeeding. By doing so, it goes from being a day-dream to a reality that you have designed for yourself.
Reason 2: Lack of Strategy
Some men can go from 0 to 100 by looking at what someone else is wearing and can walk into a store and walk out as a dapper-man. Most men can’t do that. To succeed at anything, you need a strategy or a game plan. Whether it is to achieve the 6 pack you’ve always wanted, to get a raise at work, or to fix your sleeping schedule, you need to have a plan for how you are going to achieve it. Look for advice and guidance from fashion specialists. Read blogs, learn from your friends, and look online for further advice.
Reason 3: Lack of confidence
Most of these men talk themselves out from even attempting to succeed at dressing well. Because of this, they forfeited from the game before it even started.
I’ve heard the excuse “I don’t think I can put in the necessary time to dress like that”.
Some men have the perception that dressing well means that you must put a large amount of effort into choosing your outfits. While some people take awhile to pick out their outfits every morning, it is quick and easy for others. It just depends on being decisive and knowing what you want. You just need to start off with a few key pieces that you can work around with.
Some may say “That’s nice for those who can afford it”.
Many people think that dressing well is for the rich and that each piece of the outfit will cost a lot. It doesn’t have to be expensive. All you need to do is run a quick search through google that says “How to dress well on a budget”. You just need to look in the right places for the right pieces.
Many others say “I could never pull that off”.
Yes, the dapper-look comes with that feeing of prestige but it doesn’t mean you must be successful to look that way. I have a friend who loves watches and wanted to buy himself a luxurious and prestigious watch that he could easily afford. However, he said “Won’t people wonder why I’m wearing this? Won’t I stick out for trying to be someone I’m not?”. You could see that he was scared of what people thought about him but more importantly, you could see how he felt about himself.
“Have the courage to be who you want to be and you will lead the life you want to live.”
We all have barriers that derive from our own self esteem and confidence. Many people think that they must be a certain way to look a certain way or think that they are “Not good enough”. They feel scared to be judged for being an imposter. These are very self-limiting beliefs. Why do we feel so negatively about ourselves? Where does this negativity come from? Why do we care so much about what people think and why do we think we must prove ourselves to the world? Why do we not deserve better for ourselves?
It doesn’t have to be that way. Within ourselves, we all have the ability to be who we want to be, to dress the way we want to dress, and to lives that we want to live. We’re all human and are full of flaws so we don’t need to be perfect. To be able to succeed at anything in life, we must first muster up the courage to accept who we are and be who we want to be.